WoD Epi 38 Recap: Part 1 of Part 1 of MMT

Originally posted 2017-04-30 17:00:50.

Hey folks

Yeah, it’s been awhile. Life has been jackhammering the lot of us with sickness, computer plagues, and other crazy happenings, so you have missed us a few weeks.

Well, you’re gonna get two weeks in a row of WoD, as next week, we’re going to continue with where we left off last night…err… early this morning I should say.

As usual, this shit ain’t for kiddos, so best go put one of them giant egg videos on for them whilst you read this.

*drop the pic in of the advisory thing here*

Alright, where we left off last time wasn’t where we are starting this episode, so I’ll back up to Epi 36, and recap the recap. Lydia buggerfucked the Pack, and because of that, Ty, being the only identifying-as-female in the group is now under the contract that Lydia signed with the rotten Druid, and now Ty’s either gotta be an oven for his demented spawn, or the entire Pack goes ahead with a caveat option to circumnavigate the entire wedding and shifter-fae baby making non-happy giggity time, with a different option completely. SOLD! Let’s do this!

Oh, what is “this” that I speak of? A specially themed Murder Mystery theatre extravaganza!

((Last episode, we met Remy, in the woods, helping call one of the Kings… though he didn’t realize that was what he was doing at the time and will likely be joining the Pack probably after this Murder Mystery event is completed)).

**Note: IRL, Remy (Matthew) was unable to join us due to a very very ill child, so we send our best wishes to him and the family in hopes that they were able to all finally get some sleep.**

^^ Since Remy wasn’t available to participate in the first part, but we had to do something with him, he’s been stuffed in various cupboards and closets and cabinets (I think he’s currently either in the Vanishing Cabinet in the Room of Requirement, or he’s back in one of Filch’s many broom cupboards. It got a bit dicey at the end there, and my brain was mush, so you get what you get folks!)

We start this episode – I’m not even sure now if this was live yet or not, but if not, you missed a HILARIOUS part about Drew owning a full white velvet tracksuit, and his explanation of what “ON FLEEK” is – super classy, yo. D-Dawgg keepin’ it real.

And there’s mention of Trevor. POOR TREVOR!
Dean: Fuck that guy, glad he’s dead.

Sam: Gaia giveth and taketh away.

Invitations arrive VIA OWL *squeal*

Ty: happily receives the invitation, asks the owl in (with Beast Speech) for a meal, the owl eats quickly and leaves.

Jake: looks oddly at the owl, takes the invitation, CAW CAW MOTHERFUCKER, WHOO WHOO MOTHERFUCKER and they part ways.

Dean and Sam: 2 owls appear, each with an invitation. They destroy the invitation. More arrive with more owls. Yeah, you can see where this is going.

GM makes funny unexpected pun about “Owlcohol” being served to the owl and we all crack up.

The fact that there is any commentary about Bailey’s and me is hilarious and it makes me lol even more. I’m laughing just thinking about it now.

The invitation:

“You are cordially invited to join in the Murder Mystery Theatre”

Time and date and location (set for two days from receiving the invitation).

**For those of you keeping track, it’s been 3-5 business days since we saw the Druid, so meeting Remy in that time is a viable timeframe, as we met him the next morning after the Druid had left us. We’re fully recovered and ready for this new crazy moment to begin already.**

Sam: Harry Potter. (Drew announces that his Patronus is Al)

Dean: Ron Weasley. (Al clarifies that it is his dick [specifically] that is Drew’s Patronus.

Jake: Hermione Granger. (DAFUQ – he’s clearly not enjoying the fact that he’s gonna be a chic, but he has no idea how smarticle this chic is. Hush yo’self, foo! Hermy be cool! She’s on fleek! (did I do that right?)

Ty: Luna Lovegood (WHOOHOOHOO!!!!)

RULES: All must bring a wand. No weapons. No shifting. STAY IN CHARACTER.

There is a discussion about the various parts of this invitation, as the group are going over to Jake’s place to get all updated on the Harry Potter movie marathon awesomeness that will explain things to them like who they will be in the Murder Mystery event and so on.

And because Jake doesn’t have a properly (to Ty at least) laid out home, she cannot sit in a bathtub full of ice to watch the movies. Because, as he puts it, he’s “NOT INSANE!” pfft. I’m calling him Jon Snow.

Ty is having a huge issue with all the tech. It confuses and scares her. She’s used to trees and water and birds flying, not birds on computers.

Voldemort is EMO.

Ty runs out during the movie making, grabs a few tree limbs and makes a wand for everyone – of course she’s gonna do them perfectly, so she’s making them to the design of the character who her Pack mates are emulating. (I’m guessing when she gets to Chamber of Secrets, she breaks Dean’s, and then repairs his. She’ll be destroying her own and Sam’s as well and remaking them for the last one, and happily only has to make one for Jake, since Hermione’s doesn’t break, but she does win Bellatrix’s wand – though she never uses it as it’s not “right”.

They finish with the movie marathon and Ty goes to sleep in the tub – NO, FUCK YOU, JAKE, I’m sleeping there dammit! GET ME MORE ICE! And no one piss on me in my sleep!

**there is a discussion about dragging all the tech in the bathroom while Ty sleeps and then waking her up. Or setting some of it on fire and then waking her up. Aaaaah, the joys of a Pack of fuckers.**

*I sent this to the Pack in our private chat just now, and Jake (Clay)’s response was “Not gonna say the pissing didn’t happen.”

Great. bird piss in my fur. {it does devolve from there, but suffice to say, I love this group, IRL and in game. They crack me up!}*

Sam threatens to belch fire and Ty equally responds with reminding him she’ll rage shift and punch him through a wall.

Sam decides he’s going to go in proper garb, and finds a costume shop with a HP robe set. It’s a boy’s small. Not sure how that shit’s gonna fit him, but good luck with that!

The next day is the big event. We are off to the directions given in the invitation, and that leads them to the warehouse district along the Ohio River in Pittsburgh. No, there’s no tunnel monster, Sam.

The warehouse looks like a simple warehouse – no, not the same one that Jeremy, King Douchewad had trapped the Pack in last year – this is a different one. A simple sign hangs on the door:



Sam promptly rips it down. Another sign reappears.

And he tears that one. And another comes up. Dean snatches that one, and places it on Jake’s backside. HA HA HA

Sam’s wearing a special outfit under his robes: YEAH, BABY! The Candy Banana Hammock  outfit that he wore to that rave they first met Jeremy at is under his robes.

Annnnnnnd now we’re Harry Potter, After Dark. ((the google links for those four words bring you to fanfic sites – I did not check the google images))

ALPHA walks in first, and Sam is transformed into Harry Potter. Dean’s next, and starts to remark about Sam’s appearance changing, as Sam (HP now) starts to laugh hysterically as his no-longer-twin sprouts ginger hair. So that doorway was probably set up with an illusionment charm, where it acts like a poly-juice potion-esque kind of thing. Cool thing is, each of us BECOMES that character, and takes on the mindset and wisdom/skillset of our particular character. ((Props to GM for finding the perfect characters to have as alter-egos of our characters!))

Jake is in next, and immediately is enjoying the fact that he has boobs as he is transformed into Hermione. Dean (Ron) walks over and slaps Hermione. Hermione turns to look at Ron, and taps her wand on the front of his robes, saying “Ball Tappicus” and rolls 5 successes in order to wallop Ron right and proper. Fuck you, Ron, you ain’t the boss o’me.

As Ty walks through the door and becomes Luna, with radish earrings and Specktor Specks on, commenting on “Nargles. Nargles everywhere.”

(they note I’m completely in character, and yeah, I should hope so! I love Luna!!!)

Remy is in the building last, so Harry and Ron immediately lock him in the closet closest to the doors. “LOMOCLOTICUS!” And dildos lock the door shut, but don’t penetrate the wood. Giggity.

Professor Minerva McGonagall (Prof M from here on) tells the boys to let Draco free, and they reply with how they can’t force him to come out of the closet. She unlocks the dildo-locked door, and Draco skips (my word, not GM’s but let’s face it, EVERY Slytherin skips everywhere all the time. #altfacts)

Harry flips off Prof M. 50 points from Gryffindor. Hermione glares. Harry asks for his wand back (Prof M took it from him when he wouldn’t open the door for Draco to leave) – another 10pts from Gryffindor.

They head inside the next set of doors, and into the dining hall.

Four House tables, and the Staff Table is showing. (Thank you, GM for not pointing out that there were floating candles, because that probably wouldn’t have gone over too well with Ty).

In the hall, the following characters sit or stand:

Ginny Weasley, Severus Snape, Rita Skeeter, Dolores Umbridge, Bellatrix Lestrange, Neville Longbottom, Mad Eye (Alastor) Moody, and Argus Filch with Mrs. Norris (his cat). ((and no, I didn’t need to look up any of these names, I’m just that fucking awesome with my Potterlore.)) Dumbledore is not in there, but apparently might be “around”.

This place isn’t exactly like the Marauder’s house that the Pack got to dance with skeletons and such over a year ago (actually, I think that was nearly 2 years ago come to think of it). Sam gets a bunch of successes (sorry, Harry) in order to scope out where the Druid is, and he’s basically just everywhere. His icky greasy fae fingers are all over this hot mess of a place.

Sam can however make out the shimmer illusions on each of the Pack members, so that’s a good thing to keep an eye on.

The mindlink of the Pack is STILL ON. Thankfully.

The rest of the people in the room are sitting at their respective tables – ie Bellatrix is sitting at Slytherin, even though she’s long since left Hogwarts.

Snape takes it upon himself to fix the table arrangements and shoves everyone together into one large table instead of five separate ones.

Ginny and the rest of the NON Pack beings begin to eat. Ty’s adamant will overpowers her desire to eat or drink anything, and tells everyone over the mindlink that she feels there’s hinky business with the noms.

Queue Ron and Harry beginning to question Neville about shrooms he can help hook them up with. YUP, folks, they are making Neville Longbottom, my long lost lover, a fucking dealer. Only in WoD will Neville be a drug lord. Soon they are questioning Ginny on her ability to score as well, and it is a very Lannister kind of moment involving the Ginny being, Ron (Dean), and Harry (Sam) – because, let’s face it, this is gonna sound weird no matter how it plays out, but I’ll walk you through this quickly.

Sam & Dean – hatched from the same alligator egg – are twins (obvs)

Ron is Ginny’s older bro (obvs unless you’ve never Pottered and in that case, WTF are you waiting for?!?!?! GO READ/WATCH/LISTEN/ENJOY/FANFIC that shit!)

Harry and Ginny bump uglies.

So here it is: Ron/Dean jokes that he – DEAN – has fucked Ginny – but says it’s His sister, making himself Ron saying that he fucked Ginny, which annoys SAM/Harry because Harry gets with her but at the same time I’m thinking to myself WHOAH, Ginny sure gets around, and suddenly it’s all weird and Lannisterishness and IDK what to think of this. MOOOOOVING ON.

While we’re all sitting around, watching this conversation take place, Neville suddenly decides he wants to stand up and fall asleep at the same time. Keeling over, he passes out, not breathing.

Harry decides that “Heimlich Dickus” is now a spell, and I’m not even sure what he was trying to do? Jerk Neville off or remove the thing that was causing the issue through Neville’s dick? I just wrote about Neville’s crotchel area and it’s not even fanfic. Alrighty then. Well, guess this is as good a time as any to announce that Ty’s going to smell Neville (NO, Dean, not in the crotch) – Luna smells a mixture of fruit, sour, and something else that Ty recognises as poison.

Draco is sneering (we had to give Remy something to do!!)

This is to be continued… yeah, it’s another long one, and this is only part one of part one of 3 that we’re gonna have, so you’re getting this recap in two parts this week!!

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Sera Hicks
Creative Journey Leader, Intern Supervisor, Admin, Writer at Geeks and Geeklets
Geeky Hobbit-loving Whovian. Lover of chocolate, cats, and crafty things. Writer, Creative Journey Leader. It has to be better tomorrow.