WoD Epi 36: Terms and Conditions DO Apply

Originally posted 2017-03-14 20:00:54.

Episode 36: Terms and Conditions Apply

**Insert usual preamble and the pic about people realising by episode 36, that they should start with Epi 1-3 or not complain if they see a swear word as if I hadn’t warned them over a dozen times already**


Mini mini-recap of 35:
Ty’s in the Pack, they are at the Caern, discussing stuff and things, and then they head off to Ohio. 
Druid is there and he’s a bit of a cuntikins, explaining that Lydia fucked the pack over when she signed with ALPHA instead of her fucking name. 1st off, who does that kind of thing? Ego trip much? Secondly, when someone is that narcissistic, maybe they shouldn’t ever have been the leader, because it becomes all about them whenever they don’t get their way. Which as an alpha may seem like it doesn’t happen, but a GOOD alpha knows when to listen to everyone, especially the Beta, and make decisions, not just sit around and drink and claim to be discussing shit. An Alpha isn’t afraid to shift and show their pack that they are willing to die for their sworn family members. An Alpha reads the fucking Terms and Conditions of any contract, especially one which constitutes a binding magical property; one that can seriously and irrevocably alter the future for not just them, but their pack, and even the whole world at large. A good Alpha cares more about the pack than their own self interests, and certainly isn’t going to be a dramatic wet puppy when they don’t get their way.
Sam’s Alpha, and he’s all ready to show that he’s willing and capable of being the type of leader who isn’t afraid of a second in command, let alone a strong voice to make the Pack better.
Druid says that because of the contract, a shifter/fae union still has to take place. Even though Ty wasn’t in the first contract, since she’s the chic in the Pack, she’s now to-be-baby-mama.

Onto 36:
Ty asks the Druid for three things:
A couple days to prepare for the week-long wedding that is listed in the contract*;
She asks that she be able to read over the contract as it stands**;
She asks that an addendum be added to the contract in order to properly show the change in Alpha status and the addition to, subtraction of, and absence of the previous Alpha, another Pack member and the mother-to-be (Yes, also the previous Alpha)***.

The druid agrees to these requests.
*, **, *** explained thusly:

Over the mindlink, Ty asks Jake (since he has an eidetic memory) to fully read over the contract, so that he can write it verbatim later, since the Druid refuses to give a copy of the document to Ty for any permanency.
After she talked to Jake over the mindlink, she issues a plea to the DinoBros to please not react to the Druid at this time, as she’s thinking it would be best to strategise for the time being.
Dean suggests Ty use her 5 stars in Crafts in order to fold the extremely long … flesh-paper (?!?!?) into a giant paper vag before handing it back to the Druid. Vote is “taken” and sadly only Dean raises his hand, so the motion does not carry. *giggle*

Druid gets his contract back, and the Pack leave the mall, heading to PA.

Back to BMR: Jake botches a Law roll, and no successes to his occult, so he uses a willpower to get one Law point. 
Dean gets 2 Law, and 5 Occult (He’s about to WOO up this joint, like he did with that sciencey awesomeness back in… epi 7? 9? something like that. #memoriesofthermite
Sam gets 1 Law and 1 Occult, and they get to work on the addendum and caveats.

Oh, and there’s a fun lil bit of interesting news: The contract has a stipulation in it about Changes to Leadership, Signs another Out – due to death, etc.
=== and ===
The Pack can request OPTION 2. – Which is a task in order to not have to complete the first option.

Sam calls Aisha.

Jake mentions something casually, everyone naturally assumes he is referring to himself, and everyone (especially Ty) is confounded and shocked and offended (in Ty’s case, with good reason); he calmly states that the contract cannot be valid if Ty is already married, and the next words out of his mouth were “Would you…” and everyone was gobsmacked with “…think of marrying maybe Ritchie [the Ratkin]?”

Let’s steal a moment of my day, while my power is off and my battery is slowly dying and my laptop is overheating to explain why this is kind of a slap in the face to Ty.

She is pure. Like GAIA pure. She prides herself on the fact that she is of the breed who were first chosen to walk the lands with Gaia when she kissed this planet.
Ratkin are abhorrent, disgusting, petty vermin who spread disease, malcontent, and evil amongst the world. Jake should know better, as he is a VOICE OF GAIA, and the fact that he was either not thinking fucking clearly, or was out-rightly trying to offend his new Pack mate was enough to send her back to the cooler – to legit – not lose herself and shift and smack the bad birdy. The fact that he did it in the midst of the Pack means that they now can joke about it. And she will not soon let him forget that slight. She’s quite witty when she wants to be, and she has kind of a scathing tongue.

{{{Out of game, I will say this is hilarious to play out, as it was all off the cuff, and we’re all laughing so hard about it. Even days later, whenever we’re chatting, if someone says something cheeky, chances are, it’s gonna be “Ty” and “Jake” related. I’m so delighted that I get to play with a group of people who understand the difference between reality and fantasy, and know what is done in game has no fucking reflection on how things are between the humans in the real waking world.}}}

I have a random bit of writing on my page, and I’m just gonna write it out as it appears:

“Dean shut off the mind link ;P and shouts I’M TALKING OUT LOUD, MOTHERFUCKER!”
something about a sandy vaginitus… and Jake heads off to talk to Pizza Pixie

Dante’s brought up.
He only ever let the pixie have one piece of pizza before she had to perform a duty/task/act for him. Jake informs her that Dante was a stingy bastard, and proceeds to let her know she can have as much pizza as she so wishes.

The Druid, Lydia, and the contract come into conversation, and yet again, Jake is pointing out that Lydia was “dumb” to not have read all the T&C’s of the contract.
Pizza PIxie tells Jake the Druid is NOT a good being, and is incredibly powerful, with ‘ears everywhere’.
They grab 5 pizzas and head back to BMR to talk to everyone.

Ty’s in the cooler for the time being, cooling down after Jake attempted to marry her off to the lowest possible option for her. She’d rather live with a fucking Caern of only Silver Fang than even touch a Ratkin.

The pizzas that Pixie chose were weirdly topped. The smell of anchovies and sardines brings Ty out of the cooler though, and she comes back up to the office area while Jake is hand writing the entire contract.

Pixie explains three possible options with the contract:
The Druid should know that the Alpha – Lydia is no longer Alpha.
The Druid should be looking for THE ALPHA – Lydia – who signed the contract.
The Pack should take the third option, in order to have the boon paid off, with NO baby.

(I’m seeing “pixie” and I keep thinking “I didn’t say that!” << this comes from a lifetime of being called Pixie; I am not having a issue trying to figure out who I am LOL)

Pizza Pixie informs them that a 1/2 shifter, 1/2 fae baby would be a child with SUPER immense power potential. Under no circumstances, can that ever happen.

She goes on to explain that the Druid is currently fighting with the high court, and the Queen of the High Court might get involved.

He was apparently part of the High Court himself at one time.

**I wasn’t paying attention after this for a couple of seconds, as Drew and Al broke out into “Kiss from a Rose” by Seal and I was lol’g hard.**

Pizza Pixie suggests that the Druid go chase after Lydia first, skip the actual wedding/bedding, and then if #1 fails, go after the “get out of it” clause.

Dean hears a *thud* and goes down the hall, opens a door, and Aisha is standing there. 
“Why are you in my room?”
“I heard a thud.”
“You always open doors?”

(IDK why but I always get the feeling like these two want to trust one another, but they just… can’t. I know that Dean didn’t trust Kon, even though the lil sentient stuffed toy was Aisha’s child.)

Ty hugs Aisha ((and relaxes considerably))
Pizza Pixie is going to look for the amulet at the Druid’s place.

She informs everyone that Fae don’t work in packs, but they do love and honour their own. There is potential for great harm if there are too many things happening at once to the Druid, and there could be other Fae that step in just to help his side, even if they despise him, out of protection of their species rather than loyalty to him specifically.

Once the boon (I really need to stop typing BOOB first and then correcting myself) has been explained, verified, and detailed by the Druid, it cannot be changed.

THAT is when the contract’s new addendum should be added.

Meanwhile, Ty is making blow darts with iron (just an added level of precaution), and a pen that adds iron to the blood of the signer (Iron=deadly to Fae)

Addendum should also state clearly that there is NO outside interaction involvement – Ie. the Fae High Court.

24hrs later…
There’s a knock at the main Bar doors – but Dean goes to Aisha’s door, because he’s cheeky like that.
Pixie explains she’s alright, and that the locket is a gold oval pendant on simply slung around a jewelry bust in the Druid’s bedroom. His are is growing darker though, meaning he is losing his magic. He will be desperate to hang onto this contract, as a shifter/fae baby would signal a massive increase in magical power, and he would be horrible to deal with. DRAMA-LLAMA-DING-DONG, right after Lydia.

Does Sam trust the Pixie with the Marauder’s Map?
YUP, he does, but tells her to return it in EXACTLY the same condition he gives it to her.

Why does she need his MM? Oh, that little bit of awesomeness is because she’s going to construct (with help from Aisha) a powerfully enchanted piece of paper that is misdirecting the Druid to the fact that what he is really signing is something very different indeed.

Dean Scent of True Form’s Pixie – and gets TEN successes (< 10. ONE. ZERO.) 
This kind of shit does not happen to me! But to Dean? Yeah, let’s find out how real the real Pizza Pixie is! This makes me laugh heartily, as it’s fun to see Al’s reaction to shit like this.

Turns out, Pizza Pixie is the real deal, is not Ceilican Fae, and is in fact, very decent and loyal. YAY PIXIE POWER!!! ((oh wait, I’m a polar bear…))
Law & Intel – Jake has to spend another willpower and ensures that WIN the Druid’s contest, and the amulet (Pixie is going to steal) is the Pack’s; LOSE and it is as well, and essentially both are moot points, as Pixie will have the amulet safely tucked away when the time is decided to steal it.

She warns the pack not to do the contract negotiation in the Druid’s realm, as he has more power there, and to rather do it somewhere like…
Sam suggests BMR. (Yay! Ty gets to have her cooler!!)

Next morning, Aisha puts protection on the doors and rest of the bar/building, and Sam calls Pixie at 1145 to head off to the Druid’s house, as he (Druid) is on his way to BMR. And be careful. << He didn’t say that, but we all know he has a fondness for this wishbone he’d like to chew on – and not in a I’m trippin and have a great gal in Aisha right now and want to get with more, cause I’m a harsh greedy playa type… no, he and Dean just really like to eat fae. Like the way that Ty really can’t stand Silver Fangs, but would gladly bathe every Silver Fang with her Homid tongue instead of getting with a fucking Ratkin…

(Ty might be a bit pissy with Jake still, but she’s gonna get over it before the next episode, though I’m pretty sure the DinoBros might have something more to say about it)

Knock at the door (bar doors), Dean goes upstairs, opens Aisha’s door, and SLAMS IT.
That might be the last bit of levity of the night…

10 beings show up with The Druid.

This is the closest representation I can find. Those claws do not retract. Now, make that a pure (technically if you want to split fur, it is transparent) “white” and change her eyes, her scars, and her muzzle a bit, and you’ve pretty much got what Ty looks like in Bjornen form.

Ty comes out of the cooler in Bjornen form, to “prove” she is a true shifter. {{Bjornen form is next closest to breed-polar bear-form, though it is significantly larger. Ty is currently 14ft long, 1800lb, speaks with gutteral simple words (and full ursine and full ancient cave bear), and is sporting some magnificent bone dagger claws that will leave a mark…

“These claws do AGG & I’m here to fuck.” *bows to the audience* I do take great pride in cracking the guys up, and their reactions to this are fucking priceless!

So everyone settles back down, and The Druid is asked to explain the escape clause.

8 participants
Murder Mystery
Ty asks who the other 8 are gonna be – 1 is a shifter, 1 is a vamp, 2 are mages (and of course us counting 4).
Dean asks the time frame for solving the murder/crime(s) – and the Druid gives a bit of a vague answer… so I’m guessing it’s done when it’s done more than “only 2 hrs” or something.

Could this be the SHIFTER?????? Tune in March 25, 2017 to find out!!!

Sam calls Ty over toward the bar, to see about the knife, pen, and blow darts she made. Over the mind-link, she tells him that she can use the narwhal tooth/blow dart gun in her mouth and store the poisonous darts in her mouth. She’s done it before, and she’s quite good at it.

Jake heads over to the bar, grabs some salt and trips on his way back toward the group of Fae, who proceed to start having to count every fucking grain of salt. Ty in good measure, casually kicks the rest of the salt shaker toward Jake, just in case he wants to pour some more. Better safe than sorry!

Dean texts Pixie, warns her about the salt, and she in turn texts back that she’s almost done.
Jake has an idea, and tells Dean to let her know when he (Jake) is outside to meet her.

The addendum begins to get recanted and written in, and the Pack – previously deciding this, but since I didn’t write down when that part actually happened, just take my word for it – begins to haggle.

There are some pretty specific items on the haggle list.
Sam wants a helicopter full of money.
Ty (because of the 90s!!!) wants a helmet full of cottage cheese (and Dean’s concern for Ty’s internals for potentially consuming that much cottage cheese is awesome and noted)
There’s a bit about the fact that Ty wants a real glacier delivered to PA, and Al drops character to inform everyone that Glacier is the name of the Pittsburgh Penguins Mascot!
Jake wants Carmen – sorry, no can do. Ash is ash.
Ty wants Herbie the Lovebug. YAYAYYAYAYAYAY I’ll be expecting it IRL TOO. SHUT IT, I can have it in BOTH!

She loves the car. But she doesn’t drive. She just loves that freakin’ car.

Dean wants the WHOLE BLOCK where Lydia’s bar was – BOOM, done.
Jake wants the Heart of the Mountain.
Sam wants a tooth of a Lizard King.
Jake wants a piece of the sun – DUDE, that’s an awesome request btw!! (and YAY you for getting it!)
Aisha… errr… SAM wants gold plated — I didn’t write it down, but I’m guessing since she loves her guns, there are two gold plated guns of some exemplary level of awesomeness that he requests on Aisha’s behalf. << DUDE, you so want more than just to get in her pants!!!

“Foogle four potatoes of salt on the floor.” < Fae Google.

Dean: “Mark, we’d like to take a physical challenge.”
In 3-5 business days, we’ll receive instructions on the next step.  ((We have to wait two weeks))

Looks like EPI 37 has us heading into a MURDER MYSTERY!!!

Oh, and that lil necklace that has been kickin’ around in this episode’s conversation:
That’s Revenant’s soul.

Jeremy can’t control her anymore.
Which means he’s not as strong as her now.
Sort of… I mean, Jake is holding the shiny…

We get 5xp and that was a hilariously awesome planning session for sure.

Stay tuned folks, we might have some wicked awesome news for you soon…

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Sera Hicks
Creative Journey Leader, Intern Supervisor, Admin, Writer at Geeks and Geeklets
Geeky Hobbit-loving Whovian. Lover of chocolate, cats, and crafty things. Writer, Creative Journey Leader. It has to be better tomorrow.