The Kiss

Originally posted 2016-11-04 12:00:01.

As I watched him over by the tree I began to think how nice it would be to finally kiss him. His blue eyes and black hair were enough to make me go weak in the knees and I could tell by the way he looked at me that he was under my spell as well. His name was Jesse and I imagined falling into his lean muscles every moment I saw him. We had come close once or twice, eyes closed and leaning into one another but something always got in the way. Nanny, Clover, the brats in the park or at the school that constantly tormented my little sister. Everything stopped us from following through on that final moment.

Today was the day, the day that we would finally take that step in our budding four-month relationship, which lets face it, is forever when you are fifteen. I was going to leave Nanny and Clover at the park and sneak off back to his place. His parents were rarely home and we were going to make the most of it. He was ready, I was ready.

The only person that knew I was even dating Jesse was Clover and what did she even understand about our relationship? At ten does one even know about love? Does she understand the burning my heart feels when he looks at me? The tingles on my lips when he is near? He is the one, but no one else knew. I worried that our three-year age difference would spark some attention in our parents. Though maybe not mine since they were spending most of their time at the summer-house this year. Clover and I were never invited since we had to be here for all her doctors appointments which Nanny would dragged us to a few times a week. Therapies, shots, scans, it would never end for her, but Clover seemed happy and content with what her little life was offering.

I sat on a bench at the other side of the park and waited patiently. I watched Clover’s small frame walk around the park while staying clear of the bullies and waited for Jesse’s distraction. He told me I would know when it happened and that would be our chance, our moment. Clover’s light skin glinted in the sunlight and I made a mental note to make sure she was wearing enough sunscreen and maybe a hat. She looked up at me with her aqua eyes, normally they were a bluish gray hue, but the brightness told me she had been crying. Clover smiled and waved at me happily but it was a farce and I looked away quickly, silencing the urge to run over and comfort her. I put my earbuds in and blasted the teenaged angst music loud enough to drum out my emotions. Glancing back over towards Jesse, I caught his gaze as he mouthed “soon.” I smiled back and nodded as I shifted back into my seat and waited for the show.

The drums were loud in my ears as they kept perfect time to the events that fell before me. I watched a large boy stride towards Clover, keeping time with his steps to the music. I cocked my head wondering where I had seen him before. Taller than me and quite a bit heavier than most children here, I would have placed him in 8th grade. His jet black hair and the snarl on his lip would have deterred anyone from getting in his way. He stopped right in front of my small sibling and bent over far to look down at her. I saw her smiling face meet his as he scowled at her.

The tempo of the music increased and with it my heart rate skyrocketed. “Run” I whispered with an escaped breath as I started to move towards them. With a crash of a cymbal, the boy grabbed Clovers shoulders and began to lift her in the air. I ran hard and fast towards them as he flung her around like a doll in the air. I felt my earbuds pop out of my ears as my momentum carried me forward. Others began to circle around the pair and I had to shove my way though to.

“Let her go!” I screamed as I birthed the crowd.

“Aww, do you want your little baby doll back?” he taunted.

“Trilly! Help me!” pain poured out of Clovers’ words and I was struck with the horror of the situation. I should have never let her play alone.

“Oh look,” he chuckled, “you are one of those talking babies.” The boy shook Clover back and forth as you would a noisemaker as she screamed out in fear.

“I said to let her go you piece of shit, or I will cut your balls off and leave you to bleed out,” my words growled deep from within as I calculated how I would strike: step forward and kick him hard in his balls, as he bends over punch him in the throat so that he would drop Clover. As a plus she would be lower to the ground and it would not hurt her when she fell. Once he was incapacitated and trying to breathe is when I would push him over and pummel him until he wished he was dead.

He sneered at me, “I would like to see you try.” His eyes moved up and down my body, “or I could just let her go and we could play.”

“In your dreams,” I spit out as I slammed my foot into his crotch. The boys body lurched forward and I slammed my fist into his throat. Instinctively, his arms flew back to his neck as he dropped Clover on the ground. He was much heavier than I originally thought and I had to kick him backwards in order to knock him over. Diving on top of his stomach, I straddled him and began to punch him repeatedly in the face.

I felt my fist break his nose first, “how does that feel? Huh? How does it feel to get beaten by a girl!?” I landed more blows cracking his eye sockets and felt the snap of a finger in the process.

“Trilly!” Clover’s voice was the only thing that could break through my blinding rage. I was breathing heavily and I looked ay my tattered and bloody hands and the mangled face of the boy who began to cough up blood. I felt hands pick me up and pull me away from the mess while whispers echoed though the crowd. I glanced up to see Jesse holding me and moving me away from the crowd.

“Trillium, what are you doing? Why did you attack him?” Jesse asked as he held my face in his hands. Clover grabbed my hand gently and started to wipe away some of the blood. I stared at him blankly unable to process his tone and why he cared. Did he not see what that monster did? “That is my cousin Matt. He was our distraction.”

I felt my mouth fall open with his words and without a thought I punched him right in the face. The shock on his face was palpable, but not as strong as the shock I felt at his betrayal. I loved him.

I took Clover’s small hand in my blood covered one and turned to walk towards Nanny. “Thank you Trilly,” Clover whispered in her sad little voice, choking back the tears. I felt my own hot tears come down my cheeks. So much for that kiss.

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I am a 29 year old from Pennsylvania. I am married to a wonderful husband and we have two children both named after super heroes! A girl who is 4 and a boy who is 1. Most of my time is spent working, being a mom, and gaming.