Originally posted 2017-02-23 17:00:11.
It has to be better tomorrow.
Often, we are quick to assume that someone (especially in the cold, impersonal world of writing online) “means” one thing, but they don’t intone it with any flavour at all.
I’ll give you a for instance. There is a Bach particular piece – it’s a 60 variation tune of the same 8 notes, and it’s intensely brilliant. Some people have assumed that because it was written following his return home to learn of his wife’s death, that it is in fact a opus to their love. Others, see it for what it is: an inspired piece of music that coincided with a particular time in his life. He didn’t write “angry” or “mourning” music. From all accounts, the music of the era, including his style, was not ever set to an emotive construct. If he were here, he would think it not only odd, but quite foolish for us to “feel” things in regards to his music, let alone try to imbue the emotes into the notes when played on lute or violin or in my husband’s current musical renditions, a classical guitar. I’m seriously not doing this proper justice, and I am truly hoping that the boy decides to write his own take on these various masterpieces that he is working through. I will say this much; he’s given me a deeper respect for Bach than I ever expected to have, and I appreciate the dedication to craft that hubs puts into those strings.
Just like Bach wouldn’t have understood why we are ‘reading’ his music with a certain context, we need to remember that not everything that is written is directed with malicious intent. All too often, we walk into a situation with goings-on inside of our head already, and we read someone’s words, continuing to worry about the bills being paid on time, and the car needing an oil change, and the dog’s heartworm medication has to be picked up on time, and the big presentation next week, and switching the winter tires off the car and putting the summer ones on or rotating them so they are all getting properly worn at the same rate, and did the eldest child have a recital this week or next week, and WHAT DID MY ‘so called friend’ JUST SAY TO ME ON FACEBOOK!? How dare they say something so fucking rude! I’ll give them a piece of my mind…
Nope, back up. Your friend didn’t say anything harsh or mean, you’ve got a horde of things on your mind and you put YOUR twist on the conversation.
All too often, we have to now add those three little letters at the end of a statement, because we’re so worried someone won’t take it the right way. Or that little colon/bracket smiley face. LOL doesn’t mean laugh out loud any more. It means “I’m being silly, please don’t take what I’m saying personally, I was only kidding, stop being so assumptive that I’m out to get you. No one is your mortal enemy.”
Being good to yourself and others is a two-fold thing, that takes practice. It can be achieved though, easily enough, if you are aware of the possible areas you fall into with your attitude and perception of how you deal with others.
When you see something online, do you react instantly, assuming you automatically KNOW the tone and intended reason for the words? Do you act that way in the real world as well? Do you jump to conclusions and believe everyone has an ulterior motive for their words?
Let me save you a bit of time. Yes, there are shitty people out there. There are people who are manipulative and cruel and petty. But I guarantee you are not interacting with ONLY that contingent of the populous. There are decent, caring, understanding people as well, and they are hoping you can cut them a little bit of slack and give them the reciprocal respect they give you in regards to not assuming everything you say is tipped with venom.
Be willing to admit when you’re wrong, and care enough about a friendship to be passionately appreciative of the time and effort put into it – no one who devotes so much to a friendship will toss it away. There are always reasons people walk away from a relationship in general. Some are going to be never found out by the other person, other times, the damage is so apparent and glaring that it can be seen from the International Space Station.
Being good to yourself is knowing when to walk away from a situation you will never have a healthy future with. Being good to others is knowing that sometimes it is best if they go on their own path, as far away from you as possible. Being good to the world means that you don’t try to start wars, no matter how small. Being good to the universe means you respect all life to the extent that you wish that life to respect you. Be better than you were yesterday, and strive to be better tomorrow. Always strive to be better tomorrow.