Originally posted 2016-08-08 17:00:09.
Interview with a Character – Bad Dads Episode
If this is your first time here, you’re going to want to catch up with the previous episodes!
This week, we’re interviewing the following characters:
What is your favorite word?
DV: *inhales deeply, raspingly* Pad…Sith. *exhales sharply*
AB: *sits down, leans back, tucks right hand down front of pants, sighs delightedly* Steak. No! Boobs! No! Steak served by boobs. Just not Peg’s.
2. What is your least favorite word?
DV: *inhales deeply, raspingly* Force. *exhales sharply*
AB: *shudders violently* Shoes.
3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
DV: *inhales deeply, raspingly* The power of the Dark Side.*exhales sharply*
AB: Big Breasted Babes of Buxom. It’s a very thought provoking magazine!
4. What turns you off creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
DV: *inhales deeply, raspingly* Jedis. *exhales sharply*
AB: Peg, definitely Marcy, shoes; do you need a top 10 for this? I can keep going.
JT: All work and no play.
5. What sound or noise do you love?
DV: *inhales deeply, raspingly* Power. *exhales sharply*
AB: Uh, masked guy, you might want to get that checked out. You’re soundin’ a little rusted under the hood.
DV: *begins to force choke Al, interviewer reminds Darth Vader that he agreed not to kill anyone during the interview. Al is allowed to live. For now.
JT: *ignoring everyone* My fingers on the typewriter.
6. What sound or noise do you hate?
DV: *inhales deeply, raspingly* Light sabres. *exhales sharply*
AB: *still trying to gain his voice back, hoarsely whispering* Peg’s voice.
JT: Wood splintering.
7. What is your favorite curse word?
DV: *inhales deeply, raspingly* (remains silent) *exhales sharply*
AB: I don’t think I’m allowed to say even my top 40 favorite curses in a public place. Judge’s orders.
JT: *simply glares at the interviewer.*
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
DV: *inhales deeply, raspingly* Space Architect. *exhales sharply*
AB: ANYTHING. Literally anything. Are you offering? When can I start? Can you pay in steak?
JT: Resort Manager. Hotel Management has been working out quite well for me so far. I could expand my resume.
9. What profession would you not like to do?
DV: *inhales deeply, raspingly* Clothing maker for Ewoks. *exhales sharply*
AB: The one I’m currently doing. Stop teasing me!
JT: *goes silent thinking about previous answer’s many flaws*
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
DV: *inhales deeply, raspingly* I do not understand this question. The Emperor is the highest in the galaxy. *exhales sharply*
AB: Hey, sorry Al, you got a bum rush on Earth, but here, all them BBB of Buxom you’ve enjoyed for so long, well, I’ve rounded up the best twenty, they will never age, are fantastic cooks, and oh, they’re mute, they love to give foot rubs, and are excellent at keeping you happy. Welcome to Heaven! There’s a steak waiting for you, right over there! *he points and licks his lips, forgetting everyone else in the room*
JT: Still silent, gets up, mindlessly walks out of the room.