Fant4stick(Fantastic Four) Movie Review

Originally posted 2016-12-08 12:00:50.

Title: Fant4stick(Fantastic Four)f4-characters-poster-us
Run Time: 100 Minutes
Studio: Fox(Marvel)
Rating: PG-13(Minor Violence and Language)
Grade: D+


A young Reed Richards(Miles Teller) has been awarded an offer to join the Baxter Foundation for his work on a cymatic matter shuffler, a teleporter. Put alongside some of NYC’s brightest and youngest scientists, Teller and company crack inter-dimensional travel. After being exposed to alien energies, the team of Ben Grimm(Jaime Bell), Sue Storm(Kate Mara), and Johnny Storm(Michael B. Jordan) are imbued with abilities.

Struggling to cope with and control their newfound powers, the team must come together to fight
a foe stronger than any of them.


I haven’t written a negative review in a while. Time to shake off the rust.

This movie was almost as bad as when you get a cashew stuck to the top of your tooth and you
just can’t get it off… See, rust.

Christopher Nolan’s much needed Batman reboot in 2005 was an incredible reworking of what
superhero movies had become, but it’s had an effect on directors ever since that occasionally
turns south.

“How can we make this story darker, grittier, and more realistic?”

Unfortunately for director Josh Trank(Chronicle), a majority of superhero stories just can’t follow
that storyline, and when you try to force it, you get a turd, a wet one, a day after heavy-drinking
turd.. Like, it’s bad.

The tragedy of the 2015’s Fantastic Four reboot is that for 60 of the film’s 100 minutes run-time,
it’s not that bad. But as soon as they add the fantastic element to the Fantastic Four, it goes to
hell. The dialogue falls apart and turns into line-by-line exposition, a god-like villain is defeated
by a punch, and it is so – darn – cliche.

“He’s stronger than each of us…”
“Yeah, but he’s not stronger than all of us”


It feels so obviously phoned in with cut to black transitions and a “one year later” jump-cut just
seeming like shortcuts for a sleep-and-pizza-deprived writing staff. With all the talent in the world at their disposal, access to all the visual effects 2015 could offer, and a fan-base yearning for some main-stream success, Fox decided to cut their losses and release something that was
forced and premature.

Michael B. Jordan, Miles Teller, Kate Mara, Reg E. Kathy; this cast is an abundance of riches,
but the script doesn’t do enough to develop each character, resulting in very superficial,
underwhelming, performances.

In all honesty though, this movie may have been doomed from the beginning. Months before
release rumors arose of tensions on set. Apparently Trank was rude to Mara, uncooperative with Fox, and almost came to blows with Teller on more than one occasion.

And what might be the most mind-blowing thing of all is that they’re making a sequel. Originally
planned for a summer 2017 release, Fantastic 4 2 will continue where the first left off with the
original cast, sans Trank directing.

Good luck with that.

Stay Classy,
Andy Knauff

This trailer is way way way better than the actual film:

Andy Knauff