Weeks 12 & 13 in Review – Sera’s #100days


Originally posted 2015-09-03 05:00:42.

Somehow, I’ve missed a week, so this might be a touch longer than usual, as I’m going to try to cram in two weeks worth of life into one entry. I’ll apologise ahead of time, as it’s bound to be a bit random and might be topic-jumping. bistro chair

Chairs.

Anyone with “junk in the trunk” will automatically conjure up their own “UGH!” mental image of trying to find a good seat. Sometimes, that’s a lot easier said than done though.

Yesterday, the hubs and I went to meet a friend of a friend of his while she was visiting NYC from London, England. {Side note of coolness: She works for Buzzfeed UK as one of their news reporting journalists!}

We hung out at the “Cafe Gitane” – an Algerian style coffee shop inside The Jane Hotel, close to Chelsea on the west side of Manhattan.

The place has a very “Indiana Jones” kind of quality to it, from the sand-blasted looking walls, to the lazy fans slowly turning (even though the A/C was on – I’m sure it was simply for the effect). There was even a celebrity there, but if I could remember her name, I’d happily post an image for you. I just know she’s been in something I’ve seen recently, and her name is on the tip of one of my neurotic lil’ brain tongue… I’m hoping by the end of this I’ll have figured out who she is. I didn’t disturb her, nor did anyone else, but she’s famous enough that I’m sure an obscure getaway place like that would be the last place paparazzi would find her.

I can has celebrity sighting! X MEN alumni! :D

I can has celebrity sighting! X-MEN alumni!

But back to my chair convo………

**Thanks to Ping for her beautiful and wonderful persistence, I figured out who it was! Rose Byrne! “Moira MacTaggert” in the X-Men movies, “Helen” in Bridesmaids… yeah, her. 😀 (the pic I grabbed is from IMDB, but IRL now she’s a brunette.)** {{{maybe they are filming “Bad Neighbors 2” here in NYC…}}}

Being so large for most of my life, I’ve become accustomed to walking into a restaurant or other venue, and trying to find the largest, softest, most accommodating backside perching apparatus possible. Sadly, many chairs have had to endure the weight they may not have been previously stress-tested for until my arrival. I’ve broken several in my time, and YES, it is an absolutely mortifying experience, especially in public, in a restaurant, BEFORE food has even been ordered… once was on my birthday even, and… well, we all carry baggage…

our table in the Cafe Gitane

our table in the Cafe Gitane ((the chair next to this 1/4 wall was ^^ my seat^^))

I usually don’t get to decide where my posterior will end up, and in this case, our new acquaintance was already seated (on the booth side), leaving the two chairs open for me and the hubs.

I always *gulp* before sitting down in a foreign chair, as I’ve said, I’ve had my fair share of quick meet-ups with the floor, so I am skeptical at the best of times.

I eased myself onto the rickety looking chair, and waited for the usual “creeeeeeeeaaaaaak”, but no sound emitted. Quickly, I stood back up, feigning that I wanted to move my purse and camera out of the way of the partial wall, but I was really just looking the chair in an overly suspicious way. O.o Really? We’re not going to tussle? You’re not going to get all dramatic and scream at me for sitting on you? o.O Uh… okay…

So I connect my butt to the seat fully this time, preparing for the apologies for when it snaps without

my reaction to the chair

My reaction to the chair.

warning… but nothing happens. I’m starting to wonder if this chair seat and back are wider than I thought initially, because usually my @$$ is … way, way overflowing on either side, and my back is being poked from the rounded parts of the top of the chair. But I’m not. In fact, dare I say it? I’m… quite comfortable.

About an hour into our visit, three new patrons come into the cafe. Two are larger sized ladies, and one takes the booth seat with the younger female with them, while the other is forced to sit on the chair opposite them.

I can’t help but notice that she sat down gingerly as well, and then refused to move at all, probably sending requests to asteroids and black holes and other astral bodies to not have the chair break. That’s the trick; if you aren’t moving about, you’re not adding additional stress to the legs, seat, back, etc.

I’m not picking on her. Quite the opposite in fact. I 100% empathise with her discomfort of being large enough to probably be better on two of these tiny seats, rather than just one.

perspectiveWhile we sat there, the hubs and I getting to know our new friend, it dawned on me that part of my social hangups were based solely on my expectations of detrimental or potentially embarrassing events taking place, and my mental checklist of how to deal with things. The excuses, the apologies, and the humiliating answers.

When I first started this #100days, I didn’t think of the mental ramifications of my physical alterations.

I wasn’t aware that I would be re-writing my mental health to this extent. Of course, I had hopes I’d be increasing my endorphin and dopamine levels, and losing not only pounds, but depression as well, but I had no clue I’d be seeing myself as so empowered, and so proud of my abilities to adapt in this new life of mine. And then, something HUMONGOUS dawned on me. It was like a light bulb was switched on, and it was a fantastically, emotionally, overpoweringly moving thought. light bulb

I had to excuse myself from the conversation, because I was almost in tears, and I barely made it to the bathroom before the happy waterworks really started.

I will be able to sit on an airplane now and NOT ask for a HUMILIATING second seat belt. I’m tearing up again, just typing this up.

yup, it's a pit of despair

Yup, it’s a pit of despair.

Humiliation isn’t even strong enough of a word. Neither is mortification. Disgraceful. Indignity. Shame. Disappointing. Supremely self-defeating wretchedness. Yup, that’s the one. Especially with my {then} new hubs next to me, and I have to say “Please may I have an extra seat belt?” to the flight

I didn't say I was always mature...

I didn’t say I was always mature…

attendant, and having to say it twice more, with increasing volume each time, as the attendant couldn’t hear me over the din of the plane and people in the cabin. All that raced through my head as I had silent tears stream down my face was “FATTY, FATTY TWO BY FOUR…” and I had to try and wipe them away before the hubs would see and become concerned.

I’m not going to be ordering any of those rickety-looking chairs any time soon, but it is wonderful to know that my posterior (with only a bit of overflow on either side now) fits.

this is a tiny little village behind glass in the bathroom there. how cute?

This is a tiny little village behind glass in the bathroom there. How cute?

I’m not afraid to admit I came back to my seat after my little bathroom cry with my head held a little higher. I was really proud of how far I’ve come since getting off that plane April 17th, 2015.

This was on my shoulders to decide, motivate, and carry out. I will say, it’s weird learning things about yourself that you’ve always just been oblivious to, or didn’t contemplate for any necessitated reason; let alone think you could change them.

I am really enjoying these self-discoveries. I truly do love change, and am excited to see/feel/experience the next one, whenever it decides to apparate into my current life. (It’s about time I got a good Harry Potter reference into one of these!)

again? gah!

Again? Gah!

I was at the gym yesterday morning, and for the second time this week, GR cancelled her training session with me. Grrrrrrrrr!!!!

If she does this again, I’m going to be forced to get a new trainer. The inconsistencies of scheduling is slightly frustrating, but I digress.

I didn’t let that get to me too long. In fact, I pushed harder. I haven’t done the treadmill the last two visits to the gym, and have been doing the exercise bike instead. Dearest bike, I’ve missed you!!!! ((((hugs))))

Even on a “harder” setting, I’m relaxed. My knees aren’t hurting from this, and I am smiling. Yeah, I’m pumping my legs hard, and my heart rate is climbing, but there is a sense of calmness when I’m on a bike that until I got back on one, I hadn’t even realised I missed. It’s that sense of control.

part of the best equipment I've ever worked on. that's MY BIKE.

Part of the best equipment I’ve ever worked on. That’s MY BIKE. ^ (I like having walls near me apparently!)

The freedom of control. I don’t even know if that makes sense to you, but let me try to put it into perspective. Walking is great, and I love to do that, but on a bike, no one else can make me pedal more or less than I choose. On foot, I am at the mercy of my own internal speed up and down a hill. On a bike, it is the same, but that **rush** of “in control” feeling is increased. There is the whole thing about lifting your feet (or hands, or both) off the pedals (handles) and being at the mercy of the elements and gravity. It’s delightful. I don’t see myself getting a bike here while we’re living on the island, but I’m hoping in the near future, we will be situated and stable enough for me to become completely familiarised with the lay of the local land… wherever that may be.

So, in the last two weeks (because last week was my letter to Rin, and I didn’t give everyone an update, and the fact that I’ve got a wonky way of counting on here for some reason…), here are my stats:

I’m down to 290lb.

WHOOHOO freakin HOO!!!!! whoohoo

I am SO over the moon happy and proud of this fact! So, that’s 6.5lb down in two weeks.

I’ve lost another 1/2″ from my neck, 1″ more from my chest, sadly “the girls” have removed 1.5″ from themselves, down another 1/2″ around my waist, and down 2″ in my hips. Am I happy with these accomplishments?

YUP. OH YEAH. I am.

I’ve lost 11lbs since I joined the gym, way back on day 48. Not bad; July 18-Aug 29 (I weigh myself Saturdays at the gym for consistency) – I’m losing consistently, and I’m creating muscle mass at the same time. Funny thing is, I make a private drama for myself as I’m heading to the gym on Saturday mornings. I feel frumpy or that I need to psych myself up to handle the fact I’ve gained 15lbs, but I get there, work out, and then head over to the scales, all sweaty.

Off come the shoes, down goes the backpack and the phone, and I’m holding and forcing back tears as I step off the scale, absolutely gobsmackkingly delighted that yet again, I’m heading in the right direction.

So now is the home stretch. The last ten days.

Next Sunday, you’re going to see a completely different Week in Review: you’ll get the transition pictures. You’re going to see my stats. I’ll have three days after that before the #100days is done, but rest assured, I’ll be giving you blog updates on my life and the details of what is next for the Clumsypixie. Next week is not my last report.

As for tomorrow, I’m going to head off to the Staten Island Zoo, and even though I’m not a fan of animals being held in captivity, I am about saving and protecting their lives. Staten Island apparently has a fantastic breeding program for (especially) reptilian lifeforms that are then sent into the wild with great success, and even if the heat is unbearable (as it threatens to be), I’ll be able to enjoy the A/C and see some funky creatures in the reptile and aquarium areas. Win/Win. And yes, I’m taking my camera and tons of film.

Oh, I’ll make sure there’s an updated “after” pic of my tattoo, as the hubs has processed that film roll that he took while I was getting it all done up fancy, but hasn’t “done them up” yet on his computer to upload. (Thanks to Orylana for letting me know I hadn’t shared that with the class yet, and sorry everyone!)

Not sure if I’ll be getting my #100days final reward right now, as my hopes might be a bit loftier than the bank account allows right now. I’m okay with going without though, as I think it might be better saved for something that is being planned in the near future… more on that as the date grows closer though.

So here’s what might be my last reward: my new cross trainer running shoes.

they arrived today! yay!!!!

They arrived today! yay!!!!

I know it’s nothing spectacular to some, but to me, it’s a whole new life chapter. See, for over 8 years, I only wore Crocs. Since starting this #100days, the ones I wore here *to Staten Island* have been collecting fur. I have absolutely NO desire to ever put them on again.

I’m not anti-Crocs all of a sudden, I’m just pro-sneaker for the first time in my life. And these ones aren’t even top-of-the-line from the manufacturers; these ones were on sale, and are one of their older models. Why would I do something like that you might ask? Well, two fold: price and likability. If I didn’t enjoy them/fit them/work well in them, I wasn’t about to want to drop a load of money on them. So I figured go with the sale ones, find out what I like/dislike about these, and then go for a better “me” type shoe.

{{Though to be honest, I will admit that at least 32% of my decision… well closer to 47%… okay, 61% was based on the color.}}

They fit very well, aside from my thick left foot feeling the pressure of the inside top of the bottom of the tongue start end… that made sense in my brain, hope it makes sense to you as well… which I think will loosen over time. I’ll really enjoy these. I will say, they are a HUGE difference from my skechers shape-ups. (Which after wearing them for three months now, I would NOT recommend to anyone. Rin and Natayo were right.)

As always, I want to thank you for your time, and the support, encouragement, kindness, and inspiring words of hope for me on this journey.

Have an absolutely wonderful week everyone, and know it has to be better tomorrow.

yup, Rainbow Dash + Steampunk = awesome. my kind of maths.

Yup, Rainbow Dash + Steampunk = awesome. My kind of maths.

 

Happily stumbling sideways through life, always hoping for a better tomorrow.
Sera Merrin
twitter: @theclumsypixie
Did you miss my previous weekly reviews?

 

 

Sera Hicks on Blogger
Sera Hicks
Creative Journey Leader, Intern Supervisor, Admin, Writer at Geeks and Geeklets
Geeky Hobbit-loving Whovian. Lover of chocolate, cats, and crafty things. Writer, Creative Journey Leader. It has to be better tomorrow.