I realise I usually leave the rating till the end of the review, but I think in this case, I need to start with it.
9.5/10. Go watch it. It’s fabulous.
It’s darker, grittier, and rawer. You’re not going to be heading into this thing with a preconceived notion about how it is going to play out if you have seen all the other movies.
This movie was to pay homage and honour to the TRUE X-Fans. Sorry, but I’m not sorry to say that at all. This movie was to make up for the shite reprehensible flaming bag of dog doo that was X-Men Last Stand… which was almost as deplorable as Spiderman 3, Spidey Goes Goth. Well, at least it wasn’t as bad as Batman and Robin. I mean come on, rubber nipples? *rolls eyes*
X-Men is personally my favourite (okay, aside from Deadie, but he’s my hot sexy lover and that’s a whole other conversation, plus the fact that technically, in several stories, he’s PART of the X-Team, so *blows a raspberry at you and wanders back toward my point*) of all the comics, all the stories, and all the… everything of what makes me a geek in this genre. Doctor Who is a completely separate entity unto itself, as is Harry Potter and so forth. Comics – X-Family all the way.
I’m not going to spoil it for you in any means, well, as much as I possible can avoid at least. I know males who wept at this movie, in the theatre, and I will say that these males are not only tough cookies, I’m not even sure they cried for their children’s newborn screams at birth. Logan is exactly what Marvel needed to remind us that there’s a brilliant story interwoven in this whole crazy ethos of Marvel Cinematic Universe. And cartoon universe. And comic… you get my point.
Logan is set in the future, though it’s going to be interesting to see how they react to it when it hits the actual time line in reality, 12 years from now. Holy flaming bags of dog shit, Batman! 2029 is only 12 years away? Wait, that’s can’t be right. 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29. Yup, that’s 12. Gah! Really? That’s kind of a disturbing thought that we’re gonna be in the dirty-thirties in 13 years. Sorry, focusing. Well, the world better get ready for sea shells, cause Demolition Man will be happening in eight years… right, right, focusing! Sorry, I got carried away with all those shiny numbers!
Let’s try that again, shall we? Logan’s story, if you’re not aware, is the last one that Hugh Jackman has currently signed on to play, and they did make sure that he is well remembered. The story arc on this one alone is pretty deep, though if you’re unfamiliar with the characters, I will implore you to do yourself a favour and learn about them. Stephen Merchant (if you’ve ever seen the original BBC version of The Office, he co-wrote and directed it with Ricky Gervais) is wonderfully chosen to play Caliban. His character has barely been seen on the screen, so I think it’s nice to give everyone a chance to see a character that has a fabulous story line that no one outside of the pages of a comic book (and apparently he’s in Apocalypse, but I haven’t seen that and Stephen Merchant is not playing that younger version.) *takes a breath* there. Caliban is a brilliant character who doesn’t get nearly enough time on the screen, but for the X-Fans, it’s a WHOOOHOOOO MORLOCKS RULE! kind of moment. Moving on…
There is a hard side plot to deal with, especially if someone you know has had Alzheimer’s. It’s very well written, and I think in all honesty, this is the richest part of the whole film’s depth and humanity. I realise that there are several different story lines they could do with regards to ending a series in this particular way, but the truth is, they nailed it with this.
Patrick Stewart gives such a believable performance, that you quickly forget that he hasn’t always only been Professor Charles Xavier; he’s the full embodiment of the character, and his portrayal yet again stomps all over your feels and makes you want to just cuddle him.
Now, I will pause here, and say this is a heavier story line and because of that, the dialogue THANKFULLY doesn’t shy away from it. So there’s going to be swearing. But it finally gives credence to the fact that Wolverine isn’t some pushover like Cyclops. *gags* Sorry, Scott, you can go live with Spiderman and go be pathetic together. I’ll send Jubilee your way as well, so you have fun shiny things to look at and leave the actual work to those who aren’t too afraid to get their hands dirty. Seriously – I despise when the “leader” of the group would rather just sit around and whinge and moan and drink rather than actually doing the thing they need to do! Get shit done!
So yeah, FUCK is said. A lot. Come to think of it, I don’t know as I’ve heard PatStew ever say it before… But it made me giggle and then grow really sad, because as much as the swears finally are allowed for Logan to say, it’s difficult each time X says it. There’s a loss of innocence on that end. Like his mind really is slipping away from him, and when he swears, it’s so out of character… if you have someone in your life who has had to endure Alzheimer’s, you know how they are not themselves, and given that he is one of the greatest minds ever to be written about, it makes it even MORESO sad.
Now, sad part of this review is done. Logan is kickass. It grabs you from legit mere seconds into the flick, and it keeps gut shotting you with lols and yeahs and ouches and every level of feels.
My customary emote-rating scale was put on hold for this, as I was on a flight from Antigua to England at the time, and had a guy next to me (well, technically, he was like of laying on me with the arm rest between us up and him scooched onto my left leg for most of the flight) – so I didn’t emote the way I usually do. #socialawkwardness But the emotes were there. It was a deliciously hard watch, and I will be buying it.
So, why only give it 9.5? I’m really stingy about that last .5 all the time, because it really has to blow me away. There were a few tiny little plot holes, and I was a bit sad that they didn’t show all of the mutants’ abilities that they could. I mean, it’s usually the way these movies go, so I get that, but it would have been nice to just see one time that the main character wasn’t the ONLY one saving the day. But it is Logan. And he does deserve the spotlight finally in a proper way. ((We do not speak of the absolute atrocity called “The Wolverine” because IT DID NOT HAPPEN, OKAY?!?! That movie, along with the movie SERENITY, DID-NOT-TAKE-FUCKING-PLACE, capiche? GOOD. Wash is completely fine, Deadie can still talk, and the world keeps spinning.))
Overall, this is the best way to give Jackman/Stewart their amazing swan song. Together.
And now… the emoting is here. DAMMIT.
I don’t want them to go……..